You get what you pay for: Advice from a pro bono marriage counselor

Thread: Marriage advice - TGP style View Single Post

#16     Today, 10:38 AM

CatGut Senior Member   Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 491

Most people will recommend pills for her, you, or both, or a divorce. Here is the only way your marriage will work: You need to earn more money than her or else have a plan in motion that is going to bring in more money soonish. She needs to spend more time with her kids, being a mom. She needs to work much less. How fit are you? You should be at least as fit as she is. You need to wear the pants. Be in charge of the household. She will resist this enormously, but will eventually respond well to leadership. You must have regular sex, at an absolute minimum of once per week. She needs to eat healthily to reduce her monthly mood swings. Marriage counselling is known to create more problems than it solves (only around 20% of people find it helps); don't expect it to be an answer for either of you. You both need a good social life with positive people. And you need to spend more down time with each other. If she's been banging her boss, none of this will make any difference.

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#58     Today, 01:37 PM

CatGut Senior Member   Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 491

Quote: Originally Posted by EricPeterson I would have thought in 2013 we would be past some of this bullshit, I guess at least some of us are. Yes, many of you are. That's why you have a soaring divorce rate and an affair rate of about 50%. Congrats on your progress. I've been doing pro-bono marriage and individual counselling for almost twenty years. I've helped hundreds of people. I went to university for this stuff and have a library full of related books. I've been to seminars and often discuss my own findings with other counselors. I've been paid to travel internationally to talk about related topics. I have a publishing deal for a book related to this topic. What you refer to as bullshit is what I have seen work, based on many years of experience.